Today I made a decision to do something which has absolutely terrified me for years. I have signed up for a creative writing workshop - a two day novel-based course coming up in the next couple of weeks.
To anyone else that might not sound so scary, but I have always been petrified by the idea of sharing my work with strangers - with anyone really. I don’t know what it is I am so afraid of, but the very thought of it gives me The Fear. However it’s far too late now - I’ve decided to take the plunge. Also I have already paid, so I’m going to have to go through with it and be brave.
With that in mind, I am back here again. It’s not so very adventurous I know, given that (so far!) there seem to be absolutely zero consequences to whatever I post. I would estimate my current readership to be a grand total of nil. However, it’s still a step in the right direction. It’s all about just getting used to the idea that it’s OK to just have a go and see what happens.
In view of all this creative fear and angst, I’ve unearthed my copy of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for artistic inspiration and support. I always find it a particularly peculiar book - perhaps just because I’m not always comfortable with the terminology used and the approach Cameron takes - there’s a bit too much about God and it has that slightly discomfiting ‘self-help’ quality to it. However, there’s no doubt that it’s a great source of inspiration to get going or to carry on when the going gets tough. It’s a good place to go for straight-to-the-point advice that always hits home: today I opened the book to read mistakes are necessary... progress, not perfection is what we should be asking of ourselves.
Couldn’t be better advice. As The Fear looms like a nightmare monster, I’m taking a quote from Henry David Thoreau as my motto: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Monday, 12 May 2008
Today...
OK, so I'm back. The big, bad blogosphere couldn't scare me away for too long.
Actually, I'm not so sure it is so very scary after all. When it comes down to it, I realise I quite like the idea of words flowing out into a soundless void. Good, bad, indifferent... suddenly it doesn't seem to matter. Sometimes it's nice to stop fighting, and just drift along in the tide, not worrying about consequences.
The idea of writing without consequences is a particularly appealing one. It's so easy to get fixed on results, products, and to forget that it's the process that's the point. I like the idea of being more playful, and throwing away the idea of "finishing" something "good".
Sources of inspiration? ...I came across Bruce Mau's Incomplete Manifesto today. A bit wordy but I like it. Or, of course, Keri Smith's fabulous Wreck this Journal project. I actually bought a copy of the book for myself the other week and I'm (sort of) looking forward to wrecking it. Although it is surprisingly hard. I am, after all, a total perfectionist, particularly about visual things: the legacy of numerous childhood instances of being told by teachers I was "too messy". And this of course, is what it really all comes down too. It's all very well to write like this, stream-of-consciousness, not even thinking about it. It's all very well to declare your commitment to being adventurous, playful, experimental. But when it comes down to it, when the moment comes and you actually have to take action, suddenly it seems very, very scary.
A bit like that big orange button down there. Publish Post. Do I dare? I haven't even read it through. I don't even know if it makes sense. There's a whole host of inner voices: why would I even bother? No one will ever read this anyway. But another voice, the naughty one (the one who is "too messy" I think) is taunting me, tempting me.
Just press it. What's the worst that could happen? Just take some action. Now.
Actually, I'm not so sure it is so very scary after all. When it comes down to it, I realise I quite like the idea of words flowing out into a soundless void. Good, bad, indifferent... suddenly it doesn't seem to matter. Sometimes it's nice to stop fighting, and just drift along in the tide, not worrying about consequences.
The idea of writing without consequences is a particularly appealing one. It's so easy to get fixed on results, products, and to forget that it's the process that's the point. I like the idea of being more playful, and throwing away the idea of "finishing" something "good".
Sources of inspiration? ...I came across Bruce Mau's Incomplete Manifesto today. A bit wordy but I like it. Or, of course, Keri Smith's fabulous Wreck this Journal project. I actually bought a copy of the book for myself the other week and I'm (sort of) looking forward to wrecking it. Although it is surprisingly hard. I am, after all, a total perfectionist, particularly about visual things: the legacy of numerous childhood instances of being told by teachers I was "too messy". And this of course, is what it really all comes down too. It's all very well to write like this, stream-of-consciousness, not even thinking about it. It's all very well to declare your commitment to being adventurous, playful, experimental. But when it comes down to it, when the moment comes and you actually have to take action, suddenly it seems very, very scary.
A bit like that big orange button down there. Publish Post. Do I dare? I haven't even read it through. I don't even know if it makes sense. There's a whole host of inner voices: why would I even bother? No one will ever read this anyway. But another voice, the naughty one (the one who is "too messy" I think) is taunting me, tempting me.
Just press it. What's the worst that could happen? Just take some action. Now.
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